Everyday Resilience: Tools to Help You Cope, Adapt, and Grow

Our lives are full of ups and downs that bring joy and challenges. The variation and somewhat unpredictable nature of life’s moments can, at times, make us feel like we are on a rollercoaster of experiences and emotions. Understanding and learning strategies and practices can help you build resilience and develop an awareness of your strengths to rely on to cope with life’s ups and downs.

In addition to everyday challenges, we all face difficult periods in our lives from time to time, like the death of a loved one, restructuring at work, job loss, or an illness. If we aren’t aware of the skills to respond to the challenges we face, we may withdraw, rely on negative coping strategies, and hesitate to reach out for help. However, if we can recognize our previous responses and reactions that have helped us through difficult periods in the past, we can begin moving forward down a path of learning how to become more resilient.

This article will explain resilience, why it’s a valuable life skill to nurture, explore ways to handle stress, and help you understand the connection between addressing stressors and building resilience.

What is Resilience?

Resilience refers to the ability to adapt to stressful situations and recover from setbacks, bouncing back from difficult situations in a healthy way. It’s inevitable that we will all experience challenges, stress, work and personal life demands, and crises in our lives. Resilience helps us get through these situations and manage the emotional strain from those ups and downs while maintaining our well-being.

Resilience is not something we’re born with but is a set of skills, strategies, and attitudes that can be built over time. It’s also not something we build in isolation. Factors like socioeconomic status, access to resources, and systemic inequalities shape mental well-being. It’s important to recognize these influences as you work on strengthening your own resilience.

Being resilient doesn’t mean you don’t experience anger, grief, and pain or ignore your struggles. In fact, quite the opposite is true—highly resilient people are often individuals who have experienced high emotional distress.

While we may like to think we’re well-equipped to handle life’s pressures and difficulties, it’s important to realize that even if you’re self-aware and have high emotional intelligence, struggles can still catch you by surprise. Humans have an incredible capacity for resilience. By building resilience, you’re equipping yourself with the tools and skills you need to face difficulties and obstacles.

Recognizing Your Existing Resilience

Resilience isn’t just something you build—it’s something you already have. When challenges arise, it may feel like your resilience has disappeared, but it’s always there. The key is recognizing the strengths that have carried you this far, even if they don’t feel like strengths in the moment. Taking time to acknowledge these personal qualities is a powerful step in reinforcing resilience.

Building Resilience

Several strategies and skills you can develop will help you become more resilient. A helpful way to maintain resilience is by focusing on three key elements, also known as the ‘Three R’s of Resilience’:

1. Recuperation: Rest and recovery help rebuild energy and keep well-being in check. Without recovery, the ability to adapt and manage stress weakens, making resilience harder to access when you need it most. Prioritizing sleep, exercise, and regular breaks can help reduce stress, rebuild strength, and improve emotional balance.

2. Renewal: Growth and adaptation come from learning through experience. Renewal is about using that energy in ways that inspire and fulfill you. Asking yourself, “What excites and motivates me?”, “What makes me look forward to a new day?”, or “What truly matters to me?” can help you align your efforts with what brings meaning to your life.

3. Regular Positive Habits: Small, consistent actions—like mindfulness, exercise, or connecting with others—help sustain resilience over time.

Resilience isn’t built through grand gestures—it’s developed through small, consistent actions. Simple habits, practiced over time, create lasting change. The goal is to help you identify small steps that can have a big impact on your well-being.

It’s important to understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to resilience. What works for you may change over time, and that’s okay. The goal is to stay open to growth, adapt as needed, and find strategies that support you in the present moment.

Try the following strategies when you encounter stress and challenges within your personal and professional life:

Wellness

Expressive writing helps you change the narrative about something challenging or upsetting, allowing you to move away from focusing on the event repeatedly. Writing freely for 20 minutes is enough to let you think about how you feel, confront your thoughts, and change your perspective. Don’t just record your daily activities and don’t worry about your writing—no one is going to look it. One study showed that after three weeks of practicing expressive writing daily, people felt more grounded, connected, and less pessimistic.

Being aware of how you treat yourself and understanding how minds and bodies are connected encourages you to be more gentle and less judgemental. We have a natural tendency to look inward when we feel overwhelmed. There are three parts to awareness:

1. When mindful of your feelings, try acknowledging and naming them. For example, if you are experiencing stress, you can say, "This is stress," and "This is hard," or " This hurts."

2. The ability to experience deep emotion is part of our human lives. While individually we all have different triggers, acknowledging that it's normal to feel this way and that other people do too can help you move forward and not get stuck.

3. Accept where you are now and ask yourself to be patient while you process your feelings associated with the experience. Think about how you would treat a friend in the same situation, then apply that to yourself. Generally, we’re more compassionate and kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

Creating Space Between Stimulus & Response

Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, famously said:

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

This space between an event and your reaction is where resilience is built. By recognizing this gap, you gain the ability to choose how to respond, rather than being controlled by instinctive reactions. This awareness of the space allows you to pause, reflect, and make decisions that align with your values, helping you build greater emotional resilience.

Develop a meditation and mindfulness practice that helps you focus on releasing the past, live in the present, and not worry about the future. To start, spend just 5 or 10 minutes each day to be still and concentrate on your breathing. Focus on how your breath moves through your body from head to toe. This practice can help you sort through complicated thoughts and feelings and let go of physical responses (like tightened muscles and stomach knots). You'll find that you start to relax and, more importantly, realize that things will be okay. Meditation can help you clean out emotions that have been building up, making you vulnerable to feeling like you are spiraling out of control.

Take care of your body. Eating well, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, and incorporating exercise into your daily routines helps build resilience. Making these positive changes strengthens your body allowing you to adapt to stress and reduce the negative impacts of stress.

Avoid negative escapes. Instead of using alcohol, cigarettes, or other substances to mask your pain or eliminate the feelings associated with stressful or upsetting situations, focus on positive actions that nourish your body, helping you to manage stress.

Make and Build Connections

Make relationships a priority. Spending time with people who are caring and understanding helps remind you that you’re not alone during tough times. Look for trustworthy colleagues, friends, or family members who make you feel heard and supported. Building strong connections with them can help you become more resilient. Often people feel like pulling away or withdrawing from others when dealing with emotional pain but leaning on people who care about you can make a big difference. Stay connected with a regular coffee date, a neighbourhood walk, or a weekly call.

Join a group or club. In addition to one-on-one connections with people close to you, being part of a group can bring extra support and a sense of belonging. Civic groups, faith-based communities, or local organizations can offer encouragement, purpose, and even joy. Explore groups in your area that align with your interests and can help you feel more connected when life feels overwhelming.

Create Purpose

Set goals. Goal setting is a process that allows you to think about your future and develop an action plan to motivate you and guide you. Identify short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals that make you feel excited, you are passionate about, and will motivate you. Take regular actions—even small steps—to move towards accomplishing your goals.

Lend a helping hand. By volunteering or supporting friends or family through a difficult time, you can build a sense of purpose. Not only do you build connections with other people, you also boost your self-worth. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference—for them and for you and can help you build your resilience.

Shift Your Thinking. How you think shapes how you feel and deal with problems. If your thoughts lean toward worst-case scenarios or self-doubt, try to recognize these patterns and replace them with balanced, realistic perspectives. For example, when facing a tough situation, remind yourself it’s temporary and doesn’t define your future. While you can’t always control what happens, you can control how you respond. Making this shift in thinking plays a role in how resilient you are when faced with challenges.

Stay optimistic. When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to get stuck in negativity. Instead, try to focus on what could go right. Picture the positive outcomes you want to see and take note of small improvements along the way. Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring your difficulties—it’s about believing that better days are possible.

Reflect and learn. Your past experiences can be a powerful teacher. Think about times you’ve overcome struggles before. Who supported you? What helped you get through it? By looking back, you can find strengths to draw on and strategies to apply to your current challenges. These lessons can guide you toward resilience and growth.

Focus on what you can control. One of the most powerful resilience skills is learning to let go of what’s beyond your control and focus on what you can influence. While you can’t control other people’s actions or external events, you can control how you respond, the choices you make, and the mindset you adopt. Shifting your focus to what’s within your control brings mental clarity, emotional balance, and strengthens your resilience.

There are Benefits to Building Resilience at Work

When you need to build resilience in the workplace, consider using some of the above practices. Pay attention to how your body responds to stressors at work. For example, muscle tension, illness, headaches, avoidance, aggression, and changes in breathing are all examples of your body indicating that it is under stress.

Recognizing your stressors and applying the skills you’ve learned can help you build personal resilience in the workplace. In particular, focus on the following:

• Build strong relationships and networks

• Try viewing setbacks as temporary and stay optimistic about future outcomes

• Set realistic goals and reassess them if new challenges arise

• Prioritize your well-being

The Importance of Tackling Stress

Unaddressed stress can have severe physical and mental consequences for your health. When left unchecked, stress can lead to substance use issues, heart disease, mental health struggles, chronic illness, and more. You can’t always eliminate all sources of stress in your life, but you can change how you respond to it.

Try focusing on building resilience and reducing stress by allowing time to:

• Shift your perspective

• Create small, attainable goals that you take time to celebrate when completed

• Commit to addressing stress in your life by making a list of things that you can control, and those that you can’t

• Practice self-care in whatever way feels good for you, including regular exercise and movement

• Grow as a person by expressing gratitude for the little things you appreciate in life

• Try to reset your nervous system by trying practices like yoga, forest bathing, singing, chanting, and humming

• Maintain connections within your community

References

1. Mayo Clinic Staff. (23 December 2023). “Resilience: Build skills to endure hardship.” Mayo Clinic. Accessed on 14 March 2025.

2. Newman, K.M. (9 November 2016). “Five science-backed strategies to build resilience.” Greater Good Magazine: Science-Based Insights for a Meaningful Life. Accessed on 29 September 2022.

3. VanPoelgeest, N. (n.d.). “7 Ways You Can Build Resilience to Stress.” Wellin5. Accessed on 29 September 2022.