Self-Compassion for Public Safety Personnel: A Key Tool for Resilience and Well-Being

Self-compassion helps public safety personnel manage stress and trauma by replacing self-criticism with kindness, mindfulness, and shared humanity.

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Public safety personnel (PSP) are often on the front lines dealing with high-stress situations, exposed to traumatic events and the demand for rapid, life-saving decisions can take a serious toll on mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Yet in a culture that often values toughness and stoicism, caring for one’s own emotional health is often neglected or stigmatized. A powerful, research-supported tool that can help build resilience and protect mental health is self-compassion.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion, as defined by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in this field, involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you'd offer to a good friend in times of difficulty. It has three core components:

Self-kindness vs. self-judgment: Being warm, kind, open-minded and understanding toward yourself when you struggle, make a mistake, or feel inadequate.

Common humanity vs. isolation: Recognizing that suffering and feelings of inadequacy are part of the shared human experience, and you’re not alone with that.

Mindfulness vs. over-identification: Noticing, naming and taking a step back from painful thoughts, feelings, memories and physical sensations rather than ignoring them, exaggerating their impact or trying to suppress them.

Noticing our ‘inner critic’

Most of us have an inner voice, reflected in our thoughts and beliefs, which conveys criticism, frustration, judgment and disapproval about ourselves and our actions. We can often be our own worst enemy. Our ‘inner critic’ is often judgmental, cautious, repetitive, automatic and unconscious.

Importantly, our inner critic is trying to help us. Blaming ourselves creates a sense of control and predictability. Judging ourselves helps us take on negative feedback before we can hear it from others, priming ourselves for potential judgment or criticism. Telling ourselves we can’t do things or aren’t good enough is an attempt to protect ourselves from failure or disappointment.

However, our inner critic has consequences, and it often turns our pain into suffering. Within PSP cultures shaped by principles of stoicism, self-criticism when we’re struggling can often sound like “suck it up”, “I should be stronger”, “I signed up for this”, and/or “what’s wrong with me?”.

Noticing and taking a step back from self-critical thoughts is an important step in developing self-compassion.

Why Self-Compassion Matters for PSP

PSP often experience high levels of occupational stress and are at increased risk for anxiety, depression, PTSD, substance use disorders and burnout. Self-criticism can increase and maintain these challenges, whereas self-compassion has been linked to:

Lower levels of stress and emotional exhaustion

Reduced symptoms of anxiety, depression and PTSD

Increased psychological resilience

Improved emotional regulation

Strengthened relationships

Enhanced job satisfaction, quality of life and sense of purpose

In professions where helping others is the core mission, self-compassion isn't a luxury — it’s a necessity.

Practical Strategies for Cultivating Self-Compassion

S.T.O.P: Stop what you’re doing, take a couple deep breaths, observe what’s happening, and proceed mindfully with the situation.

In the heat of a stressful moment or after a difficult call, stop what you’re doing. Don’t react. Try taking a few deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. You could also try inhaling for four counts, holding for four counts, exhaling for four counts, and then holding for four counts. Then simply notice and name what’s happening externally and internally: any thoughts, images, memories, emotions, physical sensations or urges that are arising. Take a moment to check in with yourself. With this mindful pause and grounding yourself in the moment, hopefully you’ll be better able to respond vs. react.

Self-Compassion Break

Acknowledge to yourself: “This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment.” Adjust the words to fit your style. You could also say “here’s anxiety”, or “I’m noticing anger”, or “I’m having the thought that I made a mistake”.

Name the Emotion

Simply identifying what you're feeling (“I feel overwhelmed,” “I’m frustrated,” etc.) can reduce the emotional intensity and create space for self-kindness, open-mindedness and understanding.

Treat Yourself Like a Friend

Get a different perspective on the situation by asking yourself “What would I say to a loved one who was going through this?” Usually, it’s much easier for us to direct kindness, understanding and effective problem-solving to others than ourselves. Then try offering yourself the same understanding and support.

Set Boundaries and Rest

Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your limits. Saying “no” or asking for help isn't weakness — it's strength and will support sustainability.

Myths and Misperceptions

Unfortunately, there are many misunderstandings about self-compassion. It’s important to debunk some of these myths and misrepresentations.

Myth: Self-compassion is throwing myself a pity party.

Fact: Research demonstrates that self-compassionate people are more likely to engage in perspective taking, rather than focusing solely on their own distress. They are less likely to ruminate and have better mental health.

Myth: Self-compassion is weakness; I need to be tough and strong to get through my life.

Fact: Research shows that self-compassionate people are better able to cope with tough situations such as divorce, trauma or chronic pain.

Myth: Taking care of others is more important to me that taking care of myself, being self-compassionate is selfish.

Fact: Research demonstrates that self-compassionate people tend to be more caring and supportive in romantic relationships, are more likely to compromise in relationship conflicts, and are more compassionate and forgiving towards others.

Myth: Self-compassion will make me lazy, I’ll let myself stay in bed and do nothing all day.

Fact: Research shows that self-compassionate people engage in healthier behaviours like exercise, eating well, drinking less and going to the doctor more regularly. Studies have also shown that self-compassionate people tend to take greater responsibility for their actions.

Myth: I’ll never achieve my goals in life if I let up on my self-criticism, it’s what drives me to succeed. Self-compassion is fine for some people, but I have high standards and goals I want to accomplish.

Fact: Research shows that self-compassionate people have high personal standards; they just don’t beat themselves up when they fail.  This means they are less afraid of failure and are more likely to try again and to persist in their efforts after failing.

Myth: If I’m kind to myself, I’m just ignoring my difficult thoughts and feelings.

Fact: Self-compassion does not involve pushing unpleasant emotions away. People with greater self-compassion are less likely to suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions and are more willing to experience difficult feelings and acknowledge their emotions as valid and important (Neff, Kirkpatrick & Rude, 2007). Instead of replacing negative feelings with positive ones, new positive emotions are generated by embracing and processing the negative.

Resources for Further Support

Books

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer

Websites & Courses

self-compassion.org: Resources, guided meditations, and research

Center for Mindful Self-Compassion: Offers courses specifically for helping professionals

Apps

Insight Timer, Headspace, and Calm: Offer guided meditations focused on self-compassion and stress relief

Working as a PSP takes immense courage, dedication, and strength. But these qualities are not diminished by moments of struggle. In fact, embracing your own humanity can enhance your capacity to serve others. Self-compassion is not about being soft — it’s about being strong enough to treat yourself kindly, so you can continue to take care of others.

References

Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.

Germer, C. K., & Neff, K. D. (2013). Self-compassion in clinical practice. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(8), 856–867.

Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2018). The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Finlay-Jones, A. (2017). The relevance of self-compassion as an intervention target in mood and anxiety disorders: A narrative review based on an emotion regulation framework. Clinical Psychologist, 21(2), 90–103.

Staff, A. (2022, November 10). Self-compassion: What is it, why do I need it, and how can I do it? . NewLeaf Wellness Centre Abbotsford BC . https://newleafwellnesscentre.com/self-compassion-need-can